Sweet silence.

As I sit here typing up this blog, all I hear is the quiet breeze of my air conditioning. Both of my girls are asleep. C is passed out upstairs in her bed after a fun day playing outside with her friends. A is snoozing next to me on the couch until I make our way upstairs for the night. I love hearing her content sleepy sighs. As a temporary single mom while my husband is deployed, I don't get alone of quiet time. C has pretty much abandoned the nap-taking ship since A was born. I was sad to see her stop taking naps because that's when I got a lot of my housework and other chores done. Now it takes twice as long to swap out laundry and fold them with C wanting to follow me and "help". I don't mind normally, but sometimes I just want to "get in and get out" so to speak.

I've also come to wonder if my eldest is hard of hearing, because she only seems to hear me when I yell. Scratch that, when I SCREAM. It is beyond frustrating when I am trying to get her attention or steer her away from harm (or doing something she's not supposed to do), I practically have to scream at her. Multiple times. I'm constantly feeling like I'm the "mean mommy". I want to be fun mommy every now and again... but when you're the only parent currently in the picture, you don't really get a choice. Even with my loving husband home I do end up being the disciplinarian, but I get a break from it and he'll step in. I miss the help.

So for now I will enjoy the silence until my sleeping children wake up tomorrow and it starts all over again. I just love their sweet noises, but sometimes mommy needs a little quiet time. All I can do is get through each day, and I'll be another day closer to my love being home. We love and miss you honey. Stay safe. ♥

Ugh.

These past couple of days haven't been very kind to me and my family. To start off, yesterday was a very emotional day. Sadie, our new puppy, came down with symptoms of parvo and unfortunately by the time I got her to the vet, it was just too late. She had to be put down. I only had her for two days and it was still just as heartbreaking to put a new pet down as if you were to put the dog you've had all your life down. She was a wonderful dog. So smart (she was SO close to being 100% housebroken!), sweet, calm, and full of love. It broke my heart to have to explain to C why Sadie wasn't at home. She asked a few times yesterday but I am pretty sure she's just too young to really understand what is going on.

The weather here has flip flopped and now its pretty unseasonably chilly. Just about everyone I know has some sort of congestion or cold going on. I've got some really annoying sinus congestion. C has some snot flow going, and poor A has a fever and some snot flow too. This weekend is a long weekend for most, just another weekend for us. I will spend this Memorial Day weekend cleaning up my house, doing laundry, babying my sick baby, and possibly going to a BBQ tomorrow (pending on how A is feeling). I hope you all have a nice holiday weekend and stay safe.

I'm crazy.

I'm crazy. Certifiably insane. Check me into a nuthouse batty.

But I'm a crazy lady who's days are flying by! I don't really know what I was thinking getting a 10 week old puppy while already having a 3 year old and 3 month old. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment? Ah well, I'm loving every second of it. Well, mostly every second. Sadie isn't 100% housebroken, so I'm working hard to get her all trained up! She pooped twice outside, but I won't tell you how many times she pooped inside. We are making progress!

I'm also adding schooling to the fray. Yes, I am loony. I've pretty much got everything approved for my classes and by next week I should be able to order my books and then start my classes shortly after that. We are more than halfway through this deployment and it's flying by! So I may be crazy, but I'm keeping myself busy until my love come home!

A new addition

We have added a new addition to our family!

Meet Sadie. She's a lab/german shepherd mix. And absolutely adorable. ♥

I can do this

One question I get asked a lot as a wife of a deployed soldier is "How do you do it? You must be so strong." I too felt the same when I was in their shoes (i.e. not married to a soldier). My good friend Rachel is married to a wonderful man who is also in the Army. She has survived thyroid cancer, having 2 children, completing her Bachelor's and Master's degrees, and is currently in her third year of law school and pursuing a second Master's... all while going through several deployments! She is superwoman/mom. Rachel, if you're reading this you are truly an inspiration! She is raising her children (wonderfully I might add!) and pursuing her dreams. When I asked her way back when how she did it... she simply said, "You never really know what you can handle until you don't have a choice." I thought it was a very clever answer. Now that I'm in her shoes... she's absolutely right.

Yes, I gave birth to my daughter naturally (not how I planned it - I wanted the drugs!) without my husband. He was still overseas, but I did it. I'm raising my 3 year old and my 3 month old while he's serving our country. I'm taking classes for a certification. I'm not living at "home" with my family and friends. I manage our household doing all the chores that have to be done. I manage our finances, which isn't any different since I was doing that before he left. I keep my family together and keep things running. I don't think how hard it is every day, but there are those tough days that seems like it's never ending.

I can do this.
I am doing this.
I'm over halfway done with this deployment - now that is music to my ears.

Daddy Movie

Yesterday we got a DVD that R recorded at the USO before he went back overseas after R&R. The USO has a program called United Through Reading and it was because of this program that my kiddos now have a wonderful DVD of their daddy reading them the exact books that we received in the package (with personalized notes written inside each book). C has watched this DVD close to 30 times since we got it yesterday. She calls it her "Daddy Movie" and loves waving to him and just soaking up every little thing he says. She truly is a daddy's girl and I know she misses him so much. A was sleeping in the swing for most of the movie but woke up and just watched her daddy on the tv. Even though she only met her daddy for the first time when she was 10 weeks old, she instantly bonded to him. No matter what, he could look at her and she would just giggle. It warmed my heart to watch the two of them bond.

I loved watching their "daddy movie" as well. He was very soft-spoken while recording and struggled a little bit through some of the little bit more difficult words. Being the perfectionist that I am, I knew what words he was struggling with (mainly 'saguaro') and would say the words out loud as if he could hear me correcting him. In the DVD, he told me to hush after such incident of struggling. When I watched the movie for the first time I just about died laughing! He knows me so well he knew I was going to say the word! For a moment it felt like he was sitting across the room from me instead of thousands of miles away. Every time we watch the movie, it still makes me smile.

I am thankful that my kids have this movie of their daddy that they can watch, but I'm still sad that they have to be without him for so long. I know I miss him so much every single day, but I can't imagine how they must feel missing their daddy. So if your husband, fiance, or significant other is home with you... please give them a hug. Enjoy them. I would travel thousands of miles and give up everything just to be able to feel my husband's embrace.

We love you honey. Stay safe and come home to your girls. ♥

No Excuses

I've slacked long enough! Early deployment blues have subsided, and we have a new baby girl in our family! My loving husband came home on R&R - meeting his daughter for the first time, and we had a wonderful time. Now I'm taking the initiative to make some changes in my life. I have lost about 25 lbs after I had my baby girl, but I still have some weight left to lose. It wouldn't hurt to tone this flabby tummy either. So I am starting P90X this weekend, as soon as it hits my mailbox!

I'm also going to start taking classes to get certification for Medical Billing. One thing is for sure, I will beat this deployment down so hard I will make it think twice before coming around my house again! So I am going to attempt to keep up with this blog now. :) Attempt being the key word there, after all being a stay at home mom to 2 kids with a deployed husband isn't the easiest!